Moved

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... to the Piney Woods.

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MEME of the Week (I've got nuttin')

What I’ve Yet To Do:

11. Bungee jump. Wouldn’t this be a rush!
12. Visit Paris.
15. Adopt a child.
17. Walk to the top of the Statue of Liberty. I’ve ridden by it on the “Beasty Boat.” That’s probably as close as I’ll ever get.
18. Grow my own vegetables. Get serious! No desire.
19. See the Mona Lisa in France. See #12. Never been to Paris.
27. Run a marathon. I once ran a 5K. I can’t run more than a mile these days.
28. Ride in a gondola in Venice. Never been to Venice.
31. Hit a home run. Again, get serious; I was known as a “sure strike out” in junior high.
36. Teach myself a new language. I’ve only been taught by others.
38. See the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person. Never been to Pisa.
42. See Old Faithful geyser erupt.
44. Visit Africa. I would love to. I’d actually love to work in Africa for a year or so.
47. Have my portrait painted. Why would I do this?
50. Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. See #12. Never been to Paris.
56. Visit the Great Wall of China. I really have no interest in going to China.
58. Take a martial arts class. No interest. I did take a nude yoga class once.
59. Visit Russia. Maybe someday, but I’ve got a lot of other places I’d like to go first.
63. Get flowers for no reason. I’d be glad to give you my address.
64. Donate blood, platelets or plasma.
65. Go sky diving. I’d love to.
66. Visit a Nazi concentration camp. But I’ve seen a lot of movies about ‘em. Unbelievable.
67. Bounce a check. Thank you for overdraft protection.
74. Tour the Everglades. Joe?
77. Break a bone. I think I might have broken my toe once, but I never went to the doctor.
83. Walk in Jerusalem. Again, it’s WAY DOWN on my list of things to do.
85. Read the entire Bible. And to think that I've got a 10-year perfect attendance pin for Sunday School attendance.
89. Save someone’s life.
90. Sit on a jury. But I did sit through an eight-week trial; God bless the jury.
92. Join a book club.
96. Swim in the Great Salt Lake. I thought you just floated in the Great Salt Lake.

Been There, Done That
(Interestingly, it's a pretty inconsequential list.)

1. Started my own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Gave more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disney World and Disney Land.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught myself an art from scratch.
16. Had food poisoning.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch-hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping. Absolutely love it!
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors.
35. Been to an Amish community.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke. And been ridiculed. Never again!
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
57. Started a business.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
75. Been fired from a job. Laid off/replaced ... same thing.
76. Seen the changing of the guard in London.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox.
91. Met someone famous.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.

Slumdog Millionaire

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Have you seen it?

Wow! A gut-wrencher and a tear-jerker, all rolled into one.


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Don't we all?

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I think about it all the time.
I just don't talk about it.

- Justin

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Everyday, we hope for what we still can't see.

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I've spent the entire last week watching Wall Street, to the point of being obsessive about it. While it's probably not as bad as it seems (less than 15% of my portfolio -- whoops, now 9% -- is invested in equities), it's left me with the continuing thought that I'll never have enough money to enjoy retirement. And, that the best part of my life is gone. (But what a life it's been!)

Last night I saw a story on TV about joining the Peace Corp after you're fifty. It's not a bad idea. I'll think about it.

About a year ago I posted this song by Josh Groban. I thought it was meaningful to listen to it again. (Go ahead, listen to the song, read the lyrics. And smile.)

It's up to us to be the change.

- Josh Groban
Thankful

Somedays, we forget to look around us,
Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us,
So caught up inside ourselves,
We take when we should give.
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And on this day we hope for,
What we still can't see.

It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves,
There's so much sorrow,
It's way too late to say, I'll cry tomorrow.
Each of us must find our truth,
It's so long overdue.

So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And everyday, we hope for,
What we still can't see.
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences,
There is a place we're all connected,
Each of us can find each others light.

So for tonight, we pray for
What we know can be,
And on this day, we hope for,
What we still can't see.
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though this world needs so much more
There's so much to be thankful for.


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Out 'til the middle of September.

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It's going to be another one of those epics, seeing family and my best friend from first grade.

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I remember when Calvin Klein ads were risqué.

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This billboard is for Joe's Jeans.
I think he apparently lost them.

He must have lost his underwear, too.

UPDATE:
Of course I went to the website. I wanted to see what the pretty lady was looking at. Apparently they don't sell underwear. But you can buy a t-shirt for $58. And even living in the boonies like I do, I found out that there's a store that sells Joe's Jeans less than six blocks from where I live. Lucky me.

UPDATE #2:
Now I hear that Joe's Jeans are big at Macy's. However I don't know if you can see Joe's ass there.

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Confession is Good for the Soul

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Edward Norton, Keeping the Faith, 2000*

Nervous about hearing confessions, the young new priest asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears several confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this.

The old priest continues, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on, and I understand, how did you feel about that?" The new priest says those things, trying them out.

Then the old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, 'No way! What happened next?'"

*I never saw this movie, I have no idea what it's about.

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Therapy.

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Sometimes you just need
to take a nap and get over it.

- Maura Stuard, age 8

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Reality.

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How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg?

Four.
Calling a tail a leg
doesn't make it a leg.

~Abraham Lincoln

At times, it slaps us in the face.

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How true, how true.

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Here's something to remember
when you're older Thomas -
never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on,
and never trust a fart.

- Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson)
Bucket List

(My shorts are in the washing machine right now.)

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The Power of Emotion

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Change that ignores the heart will seldom transform the life.

- Paul David Tripp

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Let Them Eat Cake

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The most sacred business
of judges is not to ratify the will
of the majority,
but to protect the minority
from its tyranny.

- Anna Quindlen, The Same People
Newsweek, June 9, 2008

(Read the rest of the article here.)

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Thoughts from Abe, 145 Years Ago

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Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

- Abraham Lincoln, November 19, 1863

Two years ago, I clearly remember Kelly Stern's first pride photo. At the time, I was just starting to learn what blogs were all about. I was amazed at the connection of so many around blogland to join in Kelly's challenge. Last year I posted the second photo in the series on my site, too. This year I'm glad to join in again. I painfully recognize the need -- while we all may be created equal, many are discriminated daily in a number of ways. Fortunately, I believe that change for the good is happening.

To participate in Kelly's current challenge, go here.

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One Step Away From Clueless

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Life is a roller coaster,
and sometimes they throw in
a loop-de-loop.

-Tonya Harding

Duh.

(And with comments like this, she gets a book published?)

- Paul

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For Better or Worse.

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I think a lot of times
divorce can be like circumcision
with a weed whacker.

- Robin Williams to Ellen DeGeneres
5/3/2008

Gosh, that's gotta hurt.

- Paul

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Don't We All?

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I just wish that I could fast-forward through my life and see that everything ends up OK.

- Susan Mayer
Desperate Housewives, May 4, 2008

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Love in a Paper Cup

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There will never be a day
when I don't need cupcakes.

Betty Suarez
Ugly Betty, April 24, 2008

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The Perfect Date

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Miss Rhode Island,
describe your perfect date.

- MC

That's a tough one. I'd hafta say April 25th ... because it's not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

- Cheryl, Miss Rhode Island

from Miss Congeniality, 2000

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Is Justice Ever Served?

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Every story has three sides.
Yours, mine and the facts.

- Foster Russell

* * *

6 Years, 4 months and 25 days ago my best friend at work was murdered by his wife.

She was eventually tried and found guilty. Yesterday the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear her appeal, thus upholding her conviction and sentence.

She is the State’s only female inmate on death row. But, I assume, she won’t be there much longer.

I'm not sure how I feel about this news. He and I had worked together for thirteen years. I still think of him almost daily. And of his wife. And of their two kids, now 17 and 13 years old.

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Not Tagged, But Playing Along.

(Just following Cooper's lead.)

Total Score

14 -- No
38 -- Yes

1). Taken a picture completely naked? No. I'm not really sure if this is questioning whether or not I've taken a photograph while naked, or rather had one taken of me when naked. I know of several photos of me in which I'm only wearing shoes (see #29).

2). Made out with a friend from MySpace/Facebook? No. Am I the only one without a page on MySpace or Facebook?

3). Danced in front of your mirror naked? Yes.

4). Told a lie? Yes.

5). Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes.

6). Been arrested? No. Having to go to traffic court was bad enough (see #15).

7). Made out with someone of the same sex? Yes.

8). Seen someone die? Yes. In a car accident. It was not a pleasant experience; I still have flash-backs occasionally.

9). Slept in until 5 P.M.? Yes.

10). Had sex at work? Yes. By myself, in the restroom.

11). Fallen asleep at work/school? At work, yes. At school, yes.

12). Held a snake? Yes. And I hated it. Even snakes in cages scare me.

13). Ran a red light? Yes. Not on purpose, but I admit that I'm sometimes careless.

14). Been suspended from school? No. I never even got sent to the Principal's office.

15). Wrecked your car in an accident? Yes. Two days after I got my license.

16). Pole danced? No.

17). Smoked? Yes.

18). Been fired from a job? Laid-off ... pretty much the same thing.

19). Sang karaoke? Yes. Only once. Tried to sing Mack the Knife. I was laughed at.

20). Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes. Often. "I will not eat another piece of cake until I loose ten pounds."

21). Laughed until a drink came out of your nose? Yes.

22). Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes.

23). Kissed in the rain? Yes.

24). Sang in the shower? Yes. Alone, and with friends. I don't believe that I've ever been laughed at while singing in the shower.

25). Given your private parts a nickname? No. But you're welcome to call it anything you'd like. I'm pretty clinical about such things; I usually call it "my penis."

26). Ever gone out without underwear? Yes. Somewhat regularly. But rarely without pants.

27). Sat on a rooftop? Yes.

28). Broken a bone? No.

29). Mooned/flashed someone? Yes. Streaking was very popular when I was in college.

30). Shaved your head? No.

31). Slept naked? Yes. And I love it.

32). Played a prank on someone? Yes.

33). Had a gym membership? Yes.

34). Felt like killing someone? Not that I can actually remember.

35). Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes. I've been a jerk more than once.

36). Cried over someone you were in love with? Yes.

37). Had sex more than 10 times in one day? Yes.

38). Had Mexican Jumping Beans for pets? Yes.

39). Been in a band? Yes.

40). Subscribed to Maxim? Yes. But didn't renew the subscription.

41). Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? Yes. I lived in a fraternity house for three years.

42). Shot a gun? Yes. I grew up in rural Texas, where everyone has a gun rack in their pickup truck.

43). Had sex today? No.

44). Played strip poker? Yes.

45). Tripped on mushrooms? No. I've never even seen any big enough to trip over.

46). Donated blood? No. I'm afraid of needles.

47). Video-taped yourself having sex? No.

48). Eaten alligator meat? Yes.

49). Eaten frog legs? Yes.

50). Jumped out of an airplane? No.

51). Been to more than 10 countries? Yes.

52). Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend? Yes. Right now, as a matter of fact.

I believe that #1, #16, and #47 must be related somehow. I really need to do something about #43.

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A slap in the face.

It was a comment I can’t even trace. The links go nowhere.


It was something said by someone I don’t know. A faceless name in blogland. SiteMeter left no clues.


Saturday evening, Mark, a frequent visitor recently, left a comment in response to my post titled "Sport-Sex and Disco Dancing."

In this post I was – once again – fantasizing about the past.

Mark simply asked, “What is expanding your horizons currently?”


I don’t know if Mark was being glib, or astute. But Mark’s curt question was something that I needed to hear. It was absolutely the right question to ask. The answer is somewhere between nothing and not much.

I believe that as soon as we stop having a desire to learn new things, and to have new experiences, we stop living and start dying.

This is the week.

* * *

“He had fun everyday
of his life.”

- Suzanne Pleshette,
commenting about
her husband Tom Poston.

(Mark, if you read this, please email me.)

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Going to the Dogs

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TGIF

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Pocket Pool?

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"Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost."

— Martina Navratilova

Baghdatis over Johansson
7-6 (7-5), 6-2, 3-6, 6-3
Australian Open - 1st Round
15 January, 2008

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Sport-Sex and Disco Dancing

People, events and things
that have affected my life.
#1.

How did I ever end up in the choir? Simple answer really: the choir director – who was friends with my university band director – heard that I had just moved to the city, called me, and asked me to join.

Funny thing is, I really can’t sing very well. Yes, I love to sing in the shower where there are great acoustics. But, I’ve only got a clear range of less than an octave. And I have to carefully listen to the singer next to me to stay on-pitch.

I was a member of this choir for almost three years. Every Sunday morning we sang religious music as part of a live radio program, however it wasn’t the Mormon Tabernacle Choir by any means. While we were accompanied by one of the “great organs” of the city, the choir was relatively small. There were only about forty singers. Eight soloists were paid professionals. Most of the other choir members were students at one of the city’s well-known music conservatories.

Two things about this choir:


First, it was sexually active.

And it wasn’t just the soprano soloist that was married to one of the basses. The organist was sleeping with one of the tenors. Another tenor was doing two of the contraltos, on alternate nights. One of the baritones was doing one of the basses. There was this one soprano that was doing every guy in the choir that was willing to drop his zipper. And I was doing the mezzo-soprano soloist.

It was the first time I’d ever heard of the term “sport fucking.” I grew up believing that “good kids” waited. And until this time, I was a “good kid.” Interestingly, I’d never been very interested in most sports before.

Secondly, this group could really dance.

Many Wednesday nights after practice we’d go dancing. There was this one club in the city where the disco music of the mid-70’s ruled – Evelyn King, Tavares, Bee Gees, Grace Jones, Gloria Gaynor, the Village People, Sylvester, the Jackson 5, and of course Donna Summer. I clearly remember how my whole body could feel the crushing sound system. And there was magic in the lighted dance floor; it seemed to provide a sense of rhythm I’d never known before. We’d stay as late as the DJ would spin the records.


My days living in the city were an important part of my life, and being a member of this choir was a significant part of it. Not only did I enjoy the music, but also, the camaraderie gave me friends and a sense of belonging that I would never have had otherwise. To say the least, it expanded my horizons.

I often wonder how I ever made it to work – on-time and alert – on Thursdays. It was a job that required starched white shirts and grey pin-stripped suits (where even Brooks Brothers was considered just a little too flashy).

I was obviously younger then.

I am no longer part of any choir. I still regularly go to church. Josh Groban I’m not.

I rarely danced before becoming a part of this group, and I never dance now. I doubt that I'll ever be confused with Tony Manero.

* * *

(This may become a regular series of this blog. We’ll just have to see how I’m inspired. However, it’s unlikely that it will be publicly archived.)

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