If you want to capture your youth,

cut off his allowance.

- Al Bernstein
as quoted in Forbes, Jaunary 8, 2007

.

When a kid says, "Smell my hand,"

it almost never smells like cinnamon.

- Brian P Cleary, 47 Cleveland
as quoted in Esquire, January 2007

.

If you accuse a drunk, busty woman ...

... of having implants,
she'll lift her top
to show you you're wrong.

- Kevin Downey Jr., 41, New York
as quoted in Esquire, January 2007

.

The world is full ...

... of Tiny Tims.

- Angel of Christmas Present

.

Finding the right gift,

sending the right gift,
receiving the right gift,
being the right gift,
is the miracle of love.

- DL, 12/17/2006

Dear Santa,

I can explain ...


.

Stuff never goes back in the box

the way it came out.

- Jake

That's a life lesson, Jake.

- Charlie

(From Two And A Half Men, 12/11/2006)

.

Dogs have seven birthdays ...

... to every one of ours.

No wonder they're
always so happy.

.

Playing pin the tail on the donkey ...

... is fun.

Unless you're the donkey.

.

Does running late

count as exercise?

.

The head that made that promise ...

.

... is not the one that broke it.

- Charlie, Two and a Half Men, 11/13/06,
telling Jake why he went out with Taylor's mom
even though he said he wouldn't.

.

Why do people ...

... with the worst smelling breath
stand the closest to you when they talk?

And why are these people
the last ones to accept a mint?

-Jeff Foxworthy

.

We must all learn ...

... to live together as brothers or
we will all perish together as fools.

-MLK, 1963

.

I'm going to stick to her ...

... like hair on soap.

- Berta, Two and a Half Men, 11/6/06

(It's the visual that cracks me up.)

.

Things do not change;

we change.

- Thoreau
Seen on another blog: The Lost Highway

.

Old friends,

they mean much more to me than the new friends,
Cause they can see where you are,
and they know where you've been.

- Stephen Chapin

.

Music,

has been my oldest friend, my fiercest foe,
cause it can take me so high,
Yes it can make me so low.

- Stephen Chapin

.

She's smart. She's got a great sense of humor ...

... and in bed she moves
like one of those paint shakers
at Sherwin-Williams.

- Charlie, Two and a Half Men, describing Isabella


.

I thought ...

... 'Deep Throat' was a movie
about a giraffe.

-- Bob Hope

.

It's the most important decision ...

... I've had to make since 1978
when I decided to get a bikini wax.

-- Arnold Schwarzenegger, on his running for California Governor

.

Be useful, be kind ...

... give something away.
That's how we're called to live.

- SSS

I think I mentioned ...

... to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie.

-- Sting

.

It isn't premarital sex ...

... if you have no intention
of getting married.

-- Drew Carey

.

Always and never ...

... are two words you should
always remember never to use.

- Wendell Johnson

.

Hey, it's nice to meet you.

Thanks for stopping by. Really I guess you just followed the link here from one of my random comments.

You’re probably asking, “Who’s Paul? What’s up with this guy?” I know this doesn’t give you much in the way of answers, but I’m pretty much an open book. If you have a question, don’t hesitate to leave a comment or send me an e-mail. I promise you’ll hear back from me promptly.