Love in a Paper Cup

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There will never be a day
when I don't need cupcakes.

Betty Suarez
Ugly Betty, April 24, 2008

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The Perfect Date

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Miss Rhode Island,
describe your perfect date.

- MC

That's a tough one. I'd hafta say April 25th ... because it's not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

- Cheryl, Miss Rhode Island

from Miss Congeniality, 2000

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Is Justice Ever Served?

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Every story has three sides.
Yours, mine and the facts.

- Foster Russell

* * *

6 Years, 4 months and 25 days ago my best friend at work was murdered by his wife.

She was eventually tried and found guilty. Yesterday the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear her appeal, thus upholding her conviction and sentence.

She is the State’s only female inmate on death row. But, I assume, she won’t be there much longer.

I'm not sure how I feel about this news. He and I had worked together for thirteen years. I still think of him almost daily. And of his wife. And of their two kids, now 17 and 13 years old.

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Not Tagged, But Playing Along.

(Just following Cooper's lead.)

Total Score

14 -- No
38 -- Yes

1). Taken a picture completely naked? No. I'm not really sure if this is questioning whether or not I've taken a photograph while naked, or rather had one taken of me when naked. I know of several photos of me in which I'm only wearing shoes (see #29).

2). Made out with a friend from MySpace/Facebook? No. Am I the only one without a page on MySpace or Facebook?

3). Danced in front of your mirror naked? Yes.

4). Told a lie? Yes.

5). Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes.

6). Been arrested? No. Having to go to traffic court was bad enough (see #15).

7). Made out with someone of the same sex? Yes.

8). Seen someone die? Yes. In a car accident. It was not a pleasant experience; I still have flash-backs occasionally.

9). Slept in until 5 P.M.? Yes.

10). Had sex at work? Yes. By myself, in the restroom.

11). Fallen asleep at work/school? At work, yes. At school, yes.

12). Held a snake? Yes. And I hated it. Even snakes in cages scare me.

13). Ran a red light? Yes. Not on purpose, but I admit that I'm sometimes careless.

14). Been suspended from school? No. I never even got sent to the Principal's office.

15). Wrecked your car in an accident? Yes. Two days after I got my license.

16). Pole danced? No.

17). Smoked? Yes.

18). Been fired from a job? Laid-off ... pretty much the same thing.

19). Sang karaoke? Yes. Only once. Tried to sing Mack the Knife. I was laughed at.

20). Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes. Often. "I will not eat another piece of cake until I loose ten pounds."

21). Laughed until a drink came out of your nose? Yes.

22). Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes.

23). Kissed in the rain? Yes.

24). Sang in the shower? Yes. Alone, and with friends. I don't believe that I've ever been laughed at while singing in the shower.

25). Given your private parts a nickname? No. But you're welcome to call it anything you'd like. I'm pretty clinical about such things; I usually call it "my penis."

26). Ever gone out without underwear? Yes. Somewhat regularly. But rarely without pants.

27). Sat on a rooftop? Yes.

28). Broken a bone? No.

29). Mooned/flashed someone? Yes. Streaking was very popular when I was in college.

30). Shaved your head? No.

31). Slept naked? Yes. And I love it.

32). Played a prank on someone? Yes.

33). Had a gym membership? Yes.

34). Felt like killing someone? Not that I can actually remember.

35). Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes. I've been a jerk more than once.

36). Cried over someone you were in love with? Yes.

37). Had sex more than 10 times in one day? Yes.

38). Had Mexican Jumping Beans for pets? Yes.

39). Been in a band? Yes.

40). Subscribed to Maxim? Yes. But didn't renew the subscription.

41). Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? Yes. I lived in a fraternity house for three years.

42). Shot a gun? Yes. I grew up in rural Texas, where everyone has a gun rack in their pickup truck.

43). Had sex today? No.

44). Played strip poker? Yes.

45). Tripped on mushrooms? No. I've never even seen any big enough to trip over.

46). Donated blood? No. I'm afraid of needles.

47). Video-taped yourself having sex? No.

48). Eaten alligator meat? Yes.

49). Eaten frog legs? Yes.

50). Jumped out of an airplane? No.

51). Been to more than 10 countries? Yes.

52). Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend? Yes. Right now, as a matter of fact.

I believe that #1, #16, and #47 must be related somehow. I really need to do something about #43.

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