If you want to capture your youth,

cut off his allowance.

- Al Bernstein
as quoted in Forbes, Jaunary 8, 2007

.

When a kid says, "Smell my hand,"

it almost never smells like cinnamon.

- Brian P Cleary, 47 Cleveland
as quoted in Esquire, January 2007

.

If you accuse a drunk, busty woman ...

... of having implants,
she'll lift her top
to show you you're wrong.

- Kevin Downey Jr., 41, New York
as quoted in Esquire, January 2007

.

The world is full ...

... of Tiny Tims.

- Angel of Christmas Present

.

Finding the right gift,

sending the right gift,
receiving the right gift,
being the right gift,
is the miracle of love.

- DL, 12/17/2006

Dear Santa,

I can explain ...


.

Stuff never goes back in the box

the way it came out.

- Jake

That's a life lesson, Jake.

- Charlie

(From Two And A Half Men, 12/11/2006)

.

Dogs have seven birthdays ...

... to every one of ours.

No wonder they're
always so happy.

.

Playing pin the tail on the donkey ...

... is fun.

Unless you're the donkey.

.

Does running late

count as exercise?

.