- Jack Diesing, Grosse Point Woods, MI
This post all started with Newsweek. Earlier today I was browsing through the current issue and ran across the article “Need a Lift?” – an article about men who sip soy lattes and wear soy shorts from 2xist. Being a man with an interest in underwear – some might say fetish – this caught my attention. After reading the article in the magazine, I went online to see if they had additional commentary. Which, they did.
The first thing I noticed was that Arnie Bautista, an advertising executive from New York, is quoted as spending up to $350 a season on his underwear. That sounded like a lot of money to me, so I thought I would take an inventory of my underwear drawer to see how much I spend. Or rather, have spent – knowing that I don’t buy my underwear “each season.”
So here’s the count (unless I happened to miss any that are lost behind the dryer):
* 18 pairs of Polo® boxers. Mostly stripes and plaids in bright or pastel colors. Three packages still unopened. Obviously, my day-to-day staple. Cost: $18.50 a pair.
* 1 pair of orange low-rise Polo® briefs. $9.00
* 3 pair Vineyard Vines® boxers. $125.00 for the boxed set. Two in blue, one pink. These were received as a gift this last Christmas. I’ve never spent this much on underwear personally. But, I must admit, that the fabric IS amazingly soft.
* 4 pair of gray Jockey® low-rise, no-fly briefs. These came in a package of three for $12.00.
* 1 pair of lemon aussieBum undies. A great color, vibrant yellow. Not a great fit. $13.59 USD plus shipping from Australia.
* 1 pair white no-brand-name boxers. Picked up from a clearance rack. For some reason – that I can’t remember anymore – I needed a pair of white underwear. $2.99
* 1 Safe-T-Gard® jockstrap. $7.95
* 1 pair blue/gray boxerbriefs from Dockers®. These originally came two to a package for $16.00. I must have lost the other pair.
* 1 pair while Calvin Klein® boxer briefs. Borrowed from a friend. Never returned. (Don't ask unless you REALLY want to know.) Retail value: $16.00
* 2 pair GAP® boxers. Bright, colorful plaids. Purchased on a business trip after Delta failed to put my luggage on the same plane as me. Way, way too roomy; rarely worn. 2 for $20.00
Total investment: $495.53 – a little less than five hundred bucks.
Overall, I wasn’t too surprised. I obviously spend more than some guys that buy seven-pair packages of Hanes® briefs at Wal*Mart – SPECIAL TODAY! Buy 5 pair and get 2 extra pair for free. But, I’m far below Arnie. (By the way, how many underwear seasons are there in a year?)
A few other comments:
While inspecting my own underwear drawer, I happened to notice that most of my underwear was made in Honduras. I know that Honduras is a pretty small country. How have they become the underwear-making center of the world? I imagine that there are large factories, and large warehouses, in Honduras with nothing but skivvies. I’d guess that the men in Honduras get first pick on the latest styles and colors. For me that would be a great perk.
Newsweek reports that the real advancement in men’s undies is in technology. (Isn’t everything?) With “environmentally friendly” fabric made from soybean fibers, and new construction that provides enhanced support. I’ve known about the “sling” briefs from C-in2 for a couple of years; I haven’t tried them yet. I’ve also seen a lot of promotion for the new Patriot briefs from aussieBum. They claim on their website that these attention-grabbing, all-cotton Wonderjock briefs will have you seriously looking bigger and feeling amazing. Again, I haven’t yet tried them, but I know that jetboy747 has a pair. I could ask him how they perform.
In both the magazine article and the online article Newsweek indicates that Jockey is “weaning gents from two industry standards: the color white, and the fly.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve been weaned away from white for a long time. The last three-pack of classic white briefs I bought from Jockey was in 1984. But, as to the fly/no-fly trend, you can see from my inventory above that 86% of my underwear has a fly. (Who ever saw a jock with a fly, anyway?) I’d guess that I use the fly probably 95% of the time. Please don’t take that feature away from me.
So what about KnuttSaks? When I looked online for the "Need a Lift?" article at MSNBC.com, a banner ad magically appeared inviting me to checkout the latest product offering from this company. And yes, I followed the link. While I liked the name – I find it rather amusing – it appears that the only style is boxerbriefs (not my favorite) and they only come in black (not my color). Further, the KnuttSak website indicates that this brand is ideal for NASCAR fans. Which, I’m not.
So, that’s my story. Yours?
Have a good day.