Friday, February 23, 2007

"I show everybody my KnuttSak!!"

- Jack Diesing, Grosse Point Woods, MI







This post all started with Newsweek. Earlier today I was browsing through the current issue and ran across the article “Need a Lift?” – an article about men who sip soy lattes and wear soy shorts from 2xist. Being a man with an interest in underwear – some might say fetish – this caught my attention. After reading the article in the magazine, I went online to see if they had additional commentary. Which, they did.


The first thing I noticed was that Arnie Bautista, an advertising executive from New York, is quoted as spending up to $350 a season on his underwear. That sounded like a lot of money to me, so I thought I would take an inventory of my underwear drawer to see how much I spend. Or rather, have spent – knowing that I don’t buy my underwear “each season.”

So here’s the count (unless I happened to miss any that are lost behind the dryer):

* 18 pairs of Polo® boxers. Mostly stripes and plaids in bright or pastel colors. Three packages still unopened. Obviously, my day-to-day staple. Cost: $18.50 a pair.


* 1 pair of orange low-rise Polo® briefs. $9.00

* 3 pair Vineyard Vines® boxers. $125.00 for the boxed set. Two in blue, one pink. These were received as a gift this last Christmas. I’ve never spent this much on underwear personally. But, I must admit, that the fabric IS amazingly soft.

* 4 pair of gray Jockey® low-rise, no-fly briefs. These came in a package of three for $12.00.

* 1 pair of lemon aussieBum undies. A great color, vibrant yellow. Not a great fit. $13.59 USD plus shipping from Australia.

* 1 pair white no-brand-name boxers. Picked up from a clearance rack. For some reason – that I can’t remember anymore – I needed a pair of white underwear. $2.99

* 1 Safe-T-Gard® jockstrap. $7.95

* 1 pair blue/gray boxerbriefs from Dockers®. These originally came two to a package for $16.00. I must have lost the other pair.

* 1 pair while Calvin Klein® boxer briefs. Borrowed from a friend. Never returned. (Don't ask unless you REALLY want to know.) Retail value: $16.00

* 2 pair GAP® boxers. Bright, colorful plaids. Purchased on a business trip after Delta failed to put my luggage on the same plane as me. Way, way too roomy; rarely worn. 2 for $20.00

Total investment: $495.53 – a little less than five hundred bucks.

Overall, I wasn’t too surprised. I obviously spend more than some guys that buy seven-pair packages of Hanes® briefs at Wal*Mart – SPECIAL TODAY! Buy 5 pair and get 2 extra pair for free. But, I’m far below Arnie. (By the way, how many underwear seasons are there in a year?)

A few other comments:


While inspecting my own underwear drawer, I happened to notice that most of my underwear was made in Honduras. I know that Honduras is a pretty small country. How have they become the underwear-making center of the world? I imagine that there are large factories, and large warehouses, in Honduras with nothing but skivvies. I’d guess that the men in Honduras get first pick on the latest styles and colors. For me that would be a great perk.

Newsweek reports that the real advancement in men’s undies is in technology. (Isn’t everything?) With “environmentally friendly” fabric made from soybean fibers, and new construction that provides enhanced support. I’ve known about the “sling” briefs from C-in2 for a couple of years; I haven’t tried them yet. I’ve also seen a lot of promotion for the new Patriot briefs from aussieBum. They claim on their website that these attention-grabbing, all-cotton Wonderjock briefs will have you seriously looking bigger and feeling amazing. Again, I haven’t yet tried them, but I know that jetboy747 has a pair. I could ask him how they perform.

In both the magazine article and the online article Newsweek indicates that Jockey is “weaning gents from two industry standards: the color white, and the fly.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve been weaned away from white for a long time. The last three-pack of classic white briefs I bought from Jockey was in 1984. But, as to the fly/no-fly trend, you can see from my inventory above that 86% of my underwear has a fly. (Who ever saw a jock with a fly, anyway?) I’d guess that I use the fly probably 95% of the time. Please don’t take that feature away from me.

So what about KnuttSaks? When I looked online for the "Need a Lift?" article at MSNBC.com, a banner ad magically appeared inviting me to checkout the latest product offering from this company. And yes, I followed the link. While I liked the name – I find it rather amusing – it appears that the only style is boxerbriefs (not my favorite) and they only come in black (not my color). Further, the KnuttSak website indicates that this brand is ideal for NASCAR fans. Which, I’m not.

So, that’s my story. Yours?

Have a good day.

21 comments:

Kendall said...

Now I know why I am single... I have about 12 pair of underwear, mostly Calvin Klein tighty whities.

I need to invest more in my package!

CondoBlogger said...

Whatever non-white boxer briefs are on sale at Target. Wear em till they get a few holes in them. Then one day, while shopping for something like trash cans or a DVD player I pass by the undterwear rack and buy another 8 pack of whatever non-white boxer briefs are on sale at Target.

Blue the Spa Girl said...

As part of your audiences slimmer demographic, ahem, I must contribute to this from my point of view.
I don't want to be fooled when it comes to the package.
Nothing to "boost" please.
Give me the real deal.
However, I do encourage your underwear fetish as I, love them myself!
If there is even the slightest pilling or pull, tear or anything, OUT THEY GO!
I spend a small fortune on them too.
We have a lot in common you and I!
xo
It's colder today, yes?
xo

Sorted said...

I love a man in underwear...I'm just saying...

somewhere joe said...

Crisp white cotton boxers, mostly. A few white knit briefs. Nothing exceptional really... til they come off.

MiKell said...

I don't think I've spent $400 on underwear in my lifetime. Lately, I prefer the trunks, same idea as boxer briefs, but they don't ride up your legs as much.

And I can't figure out why there is a fly in underwear at all. No one I know uses it.

Doug said...

I was raised in the bargain-pack tightie-whities, so I still have a few of those, but I've branched out into tightie CK's of various colors, boxer-briefs of various colors and brands, and even a few racy numbers with very little fabric. Most of my undies were bought on sale, so I don't know what the actual cost of them was.

I never use the fly, so won't miss it, other than the tease value when doing things to or for other people. ;)

Btw, I think this is your longest post ever. I like it!

Paul said...

Kendall: An investment in your package is probably never a bad idea. However, I doubt it’s just your Calvins that are keeping you single. And finally....

CB: Don’t you just love Target? It’s a great source for all new condo needs. It’s easier sorting laundry if you don’t have to worry about the “whites.”

Blue: I can tell, you’re a girl that likes to start her day off right. And it begins with the right under-fashion.

Sorted: I’d recommend that you buy some Vineyard Vines for you new friend. I hear that he’s a very sharp dresser.

Joe: "Crisp White" is a fashion statement itself. Cool and relaxed for the tropics I guess. I had you pegged differently, but...

MiKell: I understand; we all have our priorities! I tried trunks ... very European.

Doug: I doubt that any of us still live just the way we were brought up. I didn’t even get cartoon characters as a kid! Long post? Once I got started, it was hard for me to stop. Thanks.

Matt said...

Mostly white Jockey boxer-briefs; some other-colored boxer-briefs (I think they're comfy - depending on the brand). Sometimes CK tighty-whiteys. Sometimes colorful plaid boxers - cotton or even a few flannel pairs - depends on what I'm wearing outside of them. (I do have a pair of navy blue silk boxers that are only for special occasions when I get to "dress up" ... )

I guess I don't think too often about underwear, so I'm always open to suggestions.

I, too, enjoyed the longer more personal post. :)

Paul said...

Matt: Yes, I agree that different brands fit and feel differently. You're open to suggestions? That's what you've got Scott for!

Spider said...

YES... I really want to know...

When I wear it, they are usually Tommy boxers... although I do have a few pairs of boxerbriefs which are nice... they reside next to my jock straps which are REALLY nice... and I LOVED Somewhere Joe's comment which everyone seemed to have overlooked...

"Nothing exceptional really... til they come off."

I also love the longer more personal post...

Paul said...

Spider: Check your e-mail. And ... I did not overlook Somewhere Joe's comment at all. I was just filing it away for another discussion.

somewhere joe said...

Spider - you never miss a... er, you know what I mean.

Paul said...

... beat?
... trick?

Red7Eric said...

Personally, I love the boxer brief -- it's all I own, either Polo or Klein or 2x(ist) ... either black or navy. All the comfort of tighty whities without the unfortunate reminder of junior high school gym class.

Paul said...

Eric: I remember those days in junior high ... my first jock strap and the first time I had to take daily showers with twenty other guys. And the dreaded games of dodge ball.

altmike said...

I am so happy to read this post because I am an underwear FREAK. I have just about given up on white altogether (they are just a BITCH to keep white for all kinds of reasons). I have gotten to the point of matching color of undies to outfit. Why do I do this? For a special someone? No! It just makes me feel good and sexy. I have got to get a pair of the aussie lemons by the way... too cute. They will match perfectly with my lemon yellow lacoste shirt!

Paul said...

Mike: Those aussieBums have a strange size chart. Be sure to measure your ass (not your waist) right at the pube line. (I hate it that they consider that an XL for me!)

Yes, lemon is a great color. So is lime.

altmike said...

Thanks for the tip Paul. I am going to measure up tonight and order tomorrow. The patriot line intrigues me. I love the black Germany boxer briefs...very hot. BTW I am a HUGE C-in2 fan. I have every color, every style.

dbv said...

I have a dog with a crack problem, he likes to eat the part of your underwear that touches your crack. He's been known to chew thru the laundry hamper. So, I buy whatevers on sale at Wal-Mart, but they are cute plaid or striped boxers and I always use the fly!!!

Joanne (That Blue Girl) said...

Damn! I need to fwd this to my hubby who mostly wears tightie whities. (boring!)